Well you know i told you about the ex who was asking about me relocating etc etc and i've been thinking about it even more... yes I think i've definitely decided to see what he says if I asked HIM to relocate - that seems the best idea don't you think? Then i'd really get to know what he feels for me....If he's changed at all....
maybe i'm just destined to always be on my own? Maybe.... and if that's so then so be it. I mean, its not like i'm desperate to have ANYONE...i've rejected a lot of the guys i've gone out with for one reason or another - don't get me wrong, not for silly reasons - but if i've felt it just isn't working, or that i'm doing all the giving and not receiving enough time etc off them... or if, like the last major b/f in my life, he cheats... then i won't settle.... I have always said I won't settle and I'm not about to start now. It has to be true love with trust, loyalty and mutual respect. I don't think that's too much to ask for is it?
You know how certain songs bring back memories straight away of a specific time and usually, a specific boyfriend...? well a very specific song came on the radio this morning whilst I was in the car and I dared myself to look at pics i've moved off my phone onto my memory card (so as not to accidentally look at them)... of my ex.... it still hurt...it cut like a knife actually... and that was many months ago - but i don't regret telling him to get his stuff and go.... It very nearly killed me breaking up with him but I won't settle for a relationship with a man knowing he is cheating on me - after all, that's not even really a relationship anyway is it? He had seemed surprised when I told him to get his stuff and leave - obviously he underestimated me.
Im still trying desperately to be good where the man at work is concerned - despite constant flirting and egging on from him... i'm being strong and being a good girl.
Damn its hard though. Somestime life as a bitch seems highly wonderful and I think I should try it....if only I could!
Anyhow i've wittered on enough on here for now me thinks! ha ha ...
Cia for now xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
